sober

Through sober eyes I look at you
And when a tear falls off your chin I catch it.

***

Process 5

Process – startup
Process – log on
Process – load
Process – terminate
Process – log off
Process – shut down

***

Process 4

Breeze – freezing – cold – waste – heat – waves – radiant – snow – diamonds – shine

***

Numerals

011011110110111001100101
011011110110111001100101
011011110110111001100101
011011110110111001100101
011011110110111001100101
011011110110111001100101
011011110110111001100101
011011110110111001100101

011100110110100101111000
011100110110100101111000
011100110110100101111000

***

Geek.

0100
0111011
0010
10110
01010110101
10010
1110

***

I dropped an anvil on my toes

Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Fuck!

***

Process 3

Car – crash
Rain – cold
TV – shit
People – futile
Life – waste
Humanity – doomed

***

Arabic numerals.

“count down from any given number to zero”

***

Error!

0101
111001
101110
1101
100001
010101001
0000001

Error: Malformed binary.

***

Process 2

Four five zero nine one one one two
Eleven eleven eleven twelve

Seven seven six six six

***

Raindrops

A raindrop falls on my forehead
It pierces my skull

A puddle of blood on the ground
Next to a puddle of mud

***

Insomnia

I lie awake
Eyes bound, mouth gagged

I lie awake
Waiting for what will come

I lie awake
Betrayed and raped

***

Question of morality

The threshold is too high
In conflict with himself

Cheat or perish

***

Envy

I will steal everything you have
I will leave you with nothing

You will envy me
As I have envied you

Until now

***

Hedonism, my religion

Carry out what you have always dreamed of
Take no notice of others

You must prevail for you own sake
They just want to see you hang

***

My Queen

She is the queen of her land
Of her mind

The fall of an empire is close
Her mind is at loss

***

Too little, too late

Time goes by
Stops for no one

Second by second
Life drains away

***

Cold sweat

It is always the same dream
It wakes me up

Cold sweat runs on my back

I need to tell someone
What I done

***

Alternate ending

Pull the trigger
All problems will be solved

No need to look back
You are all alone

***

Love = Torture

From the first time I saw you
To the time you died

I loved every second
I could torture you

***

Futile

Every morning
I wake up

And I think to my self

Why

***

Modern day sympathy

I look at a scene
A brutal beating takes place

I laugh at the entertainment

Later the victim died

***

Intoxicated death

Walk a straight line
You can barely stand

Still
You managed to kill

***

Towards the end

Every step
Every word
Every single deed we do

Everything builds up to our death

***

A first date to remember

three quarters of an hour gone
still sitting on the bench waiting for you

an act of irony I suppose
when a drunk driver looses control of his car
smashes into me and leaves me in a pulp of dead gore

***

Process 1

Cold
dark
deserted
alone
rain
ice
dead
hopes
loss
burial
agony
happiness

***

Help I'm a rock

I am filth
I am slime
I am dirt

I am a rock

Roll down the hill little rock
Roll into the ocean

***

Comfortless

A raisin on the floor
Squashed and nobody wants it

It is to find comfort in the vacuum

***

Alone

We share a breath
An endless kiss

No one there
But you and me

***

Confusion and a smile

Confusion is around me
It fills me up
Overwhelms me

I look into your eyes
I smile.

***

Teenage diary

Why pity me?
Why feel sorrow?

Disgust for my acts

I am meaningless to you

Existence is meaningless

***

Off the edge of sanity

I am standing on the edge
looking down to the abyss
only darkness greets me from below
madness rejects that final step

***

Continuum

Fear and pain
A life of constant change

There you are
An anchor
A lifeline

***

Dreaming awake

In my dreams
I run over misty fields

You are there
With me

***

I, the hunter

A hunter
Hunted by his prey

Inverted roles

Only then you know
How much you fear yourself

***

Discomfort: Scene 7

A gunshot
A body drops dead

Another
Who lies there dead?

***

Discomfort: Scene 6

Again
Again

Every thrust brings the pain

Again
Again

I wish I was dead

***

Sick fantasy

Your body covered in scales
Tentacles feeling their ways

Nowhere to hide from the pain
Forever in darkness remain

You cannot scream for salvation
There is no prayer to be said

As you are raped by an octopus
My little mermaid

You are dead

***

Discomfort: Scene 5

Tears on my cheeks
Blood in my mouth

The salty saliva
And gore become one

The taste makes me vomit
And I cry some more

***

After life

My last thought
The filthiest of them all

What you do to my corpse afterwards
I do not know

***

A circles end

An urge for violence
Sexuality

Aggressive thoughts
Repent all evil

There is nothing human anymore
Just pleasure and death

***

Discomfort: Scene 4

There is a pain unheard of
He feels gruesome shame

She rapes me!
Please god
Take her away!

***

Father

At the time
It didn’t cross my mind

I wanted to be me
Alone and be free

Could not see
The suffering

I caused you
In your final time

Now we can never
Say goodbye

***

Nightmares of dying

Even in his sleep
He could feel the pain

The pain of the raven
Picking out his eyes

***

Goat

Death is walking her goat by a leach
Everyone who crosses their path
Die

***

Discomfort: Scene 3

Metallic sounds
A zipper drawn

The bat falls down
Soon I will scream

***



Falling from the sky radiating waves colors shift through infinite spectrums fading into black trees in the murky shades of a forest knee deep in a swamp drowning in lust for flesh rips and torturing pain sears in my ears craving for solitude among clouds sailing the skies in serenity falling through a hole in reality vortex’ caving upon my intellectual leaving behind only blank white canvas’ ready for the artist to paint black.

***

...and the man walked the donkey across the street

The man walked down the street.
It was the first time in a decade.
For companion he brought along a donkey.

As crossing the first street a speeding car smashed into the donkey.
The man died of grief moments later.

***

Traffic

I am on a highway
A truck
I am no more.

***

Discomfort: Scene 2

A dark figure watches over me
A bat dripping in blood

From the shades her eyes gleam
With sense of discomfort in her menacing ways

***

Raven’s nest

Reach out

Sitting on your branch
Hold on for your dear life

It is a long way down

***

Happiest of times

Feelings rush through my soul
Thousands in numbers

Foremost of them the joy and love
For every waking moment
I am with you.

***

Dreams of utopia

Imagine no more need
Visualize everyone getting along
Think about it

It will never happen

***

Forever

Enjoy your solitude in life
For in death it is all over

***

When I’m gone

The fearful thing is this:

Though we leave a legacy behind,
The only thing that is left of us, is dust.

***

Drowning in filth

A forbidden feeling
A forbidden pleasure

It all takes over me

To you I’m just a shadow
You threat me like shit

I do not blame you
I deserve it all

***

The Frown

I frown at the sight of danger
For I fear death is watching me

***

Broken

Over a broken bridge
Into a broken house

He eats from a broken plate
Sits on a broken chair

Still
For one moment
His heart was whole

***

Discomfort: Scene 1

Blood pounding in his ears
A flash of pain in his cheek

Dead tired and falls asleep

But waking up is his fatal mistake

***

Crisis

Crisis
Fucking chaos all around

State of emergency
All control is lost

***

Alone

Every waking moment
Alone is what I want to be
Alone when I meet you
In my fantasies

But there are still moments
I want you to see
My next heartbeat
And my blood gushing out
Over the street

***

My end.

Soil,
Brown as shit
Is covered
In blood and gore

***

The creep

A creepy crawler
Crawling down the path

Just seven steps away
A dead beggar lay

You better just stay away
You could hear a voice say

And in a blink of an eye
The creepy crawler lies slayed

***

Perverse thoughts

My twisted mind
Has total control
Perverse thoughts
A dark fetish!

***

The last thought

The warmth of feeling
Her hand in mine

The joy of hearing
Her laughter of joy

Feelings say
She is the one

***

Fly-free

In a downward spiral I fall
Seconds from hitting the ground
Waiting to smash into the pavement
I am debris of blood and gore

***

Menstruating soul

Bloody sheets
Pain inside
Tears roll over my cheeks

Mascara over your face
Your lips are blue
And a tranquil look in your eyes

***

Sorry...

In times of death and decay

Shed a tear
A tear for all that is said

Shed a tear for everything done

***

Her

I lie awake by her side
Every kiss we share is for someone else

Every look with heat in my eyes
Are meant for someone but you

Still your sorrow hurts me
And your pain is mine

Believe it or not
Still I love you

***

Curse us all!

You curse!
Curse all you done

Every lie
Every crime

Curse your life!

***

Scribbles

Transcribing scribbles on a wall sights burn to my senses bleaching my eyes to a ghostly blue recreating scenes from a different past causing shivers running down my spine and cold sweat running over my feet sinking into the melting concrete dividing what used to be me into an astral figure and a corpse rotting beneath the garden flowers when I stand there starring into the sand big drops of rain land on the floor the future we humans made for our selves is at the door the acid rain burns the skin on my face leaving only pale bone the time the pain the humiliation it’s all the same I cannot see I cannot hear I will not fear for I am dead the growing weight the pressure pushing down the lead in my boots the concrete floor is crushing my every single bone transcribing my thoughts so you can read I want to show you what you need I reminisce of our time when you were crying I was standing towering above your covered forms you begged me to stop the slaughter now I sit on the floor alone forgotten natures whore molested sore and out of reach not one human can reach me anymore

***

Mental disability

I look at you
I look at your face

It makes me sick
I want to smash it in

Don’t want to hear you
Not to see you

You are not “her”

***

Mirror images

Trace your life to the beginning.
Where is your innocence now?

You can look around for reasons.
Figure out what went wrong.

Why did you fail?

***